Splitting the Difference: A Heart-Shaped Memoir, by Tré Miller Rodríguez
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Splitting the Difference: A Heart-Shaped Memoir, by Tré Miller Rodríguez
PDF Ebook Splitting the Difference: A Heart-Shaped Memoir, by Tré Miller Rodríguez
An inspiring, irreverent, and heartrending memoir about love, loss, and splitting the difference between joy and grief.
At the age of 18, Tré Miller Rodríguez gave her newborn daughter up for adoption. At 19 her only sibling was killed in a car accident. At 34 her husband, Alberto, died of a sudden heart attack. But at 36 her teenage daughter found her on Facebook and began to reshape the course of Tré's life.
In sharply immediate prose, Tré unpacks her experience as a young widow in New York City: the "dumb sh--t" people say, the brave face she wears to work and social events, and the lack of solace in one-night stands. Her perspective begins to shift only when she spontaneously brings Alberto's ashes on a trip, which sets into motion a ritual of spreading him in bodies of water. By traveling to bucket-list destinations like Brazil and Cuba, Tré discovers a grief strategy for her roughest days.
Alberto's death ultimately becomes a portal through which Tré views her past and embraces her future. She quits her corporate job, explores Alberto's homeland of Cuba, and joyfully reunites with her biological daughter in North Carolina. A deeply moving narrative, Splitting the Difference is written with the raw authenticity of a woman transformed by heartbreak and inspired by love's legacy.
Splitting the Difference: A Heart-Shaped Memoir, by Tré Miller Rodríguez- Amazon Sales Rank: #160008 in Audible
- Published on: 2015-03-24
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 462 minutes
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Most helpful customer reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful. An inspiring journey of grief and rediscovery By Jessica T Splitting the Difference takes the reader on a journey of immeasurable grief and incomparable joy. Within the first thirteen pages, you find that Tre’ Miller-Rodriguez has been to 34 funerals in her 34 years. The 34th will be that of her husband, Alberto.Miller-Rodriguez doesn’t sugarcoat the grieving process. She dives head-first into the heartache and necessary evils that help her get through the day to day. She admits “I do grief the old-fashioned way: with a drink in my hand and a song in my heart.”Tre’ and Alberto shared a modern love story. Her grief is also that of a modern widow who uses travel to ease the pain and Facebook messages as a way to write to her husband after his death. Facebook is also the catalyst that leads to her reunion with the daughter she gave up for adoption at age eighteen.The narrative is written in short, sharp sections. It reads as a stream of consciousness that you would expect the thoughts of someone who lost their husband so suddenly to flow. Her story will stick with you long after you’ve closed the book. You’ll be inspired by her ability to grieve in her own way and on her own terms.
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful. Amazing! Loved it! By Anna If misery loves company, grief needs a good girlfriend - and none may be better than Tre Miller Rodriguez. The literary love child of Samantha from Sex and the City and Joan Didion, Tre's magical memoir of being a young widow in Manhattan will take you out of your own life and return you a little sadder, a little stronger, and a whole lot more inspired. Cliche though it is, I literally could not put this book down except to break for a cathartic cry near the end. Sure, it's painful and poignant, but it is also highly readable and unbelievably hilarious and totally entertaining.Like when she goes off the funeral parlor that hosted her husband, Alberto's, viewing (his death of a heart attack when he is 40 and she is 34 is what sets off the story) after they send her their standard marketing piece - a calendar - soon after his death. Aghast at the insensitivity, she calls them to say the last thing someone widowed in the prime of their life wants to be reminded of is time marching on. To add insult to injury, she can't even get the funeral director on the phone but has to ask the answering service to deliver the message.Or when she ends things with the first guy she's dated since her brother's death (he died at age 18 when Tre was 19) using what may be the most original variation of the "it's not you, it's me" line ever. Or in this case, "it's not you, it's me -- and really its my grieving process since I realize now that I only got into a relationship with you because you look a lot like my dead brother so this isn't really going to work out." (I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point.)If Tre's refreshing ability to call it like she sees it amidst overwhelming loss (her husband's funeral is her 34th) doesn't get you, the inspiring relationships she builds and rebuilds following Alberto's death will. Most significantly with the daughter she gave up for adoption when Tre was 18 who finds her as many years later on Facebook. Tre's very real and riveting account of the reunion makes you feel like you were there -- right down to the emotional outpouring and them both ordering the same meal. And then there is the sweet bond that builds between her and her mother-in-law, and how she rediscovers how to rely on her own mother to get her through the banal and disquieting chores, like dealing with her husband's wardrobe, that have to be done.What I loved the most, though, was how Tre reconnected with herself -- through travel to Brazil, Cuba, London; through overpacking,something her husband loathed; through sunbathing topless, something her husband had always wished she had done; through drinking, drugs, and sex; through remembering who she was before she got married to realizing who she is now.On a personal note, what I found so profoundly moving -- having my own long list of loss -- was how refreshingly, beautifully, painfully open she is about grief, and how able she is to value the process. A year of loss is not a year that's lost, and, well, isn't that what you most want to hear from your girlfriends when you are going thru it?
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful. A role model of triumph over tragedy By Lisa Bodell I am completely inspired after reading Splitting the Difference. This book deftly provides moments of tragedy and triumph in well-timed doses, allowing one to feel the depth of the author's sorrow, and smile at the joyful human moments that have clearly shaped her life. Miller-Rodriquez's journey to live life to the fullest despite the barriers she has faced is truly captivating, a contagious story that I've found myself sharing with others over and over again.
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