Take My Hand Again, by Nancy Parker Brummett
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Take My Hand Again, by Nancy Parker Brummett
Ebook PDF Take My Hand Again, by Nancy Parker Brummett
The guide the author wishes she had when she took on a caretaker role.By 2020, the senior population in this country will number over 115 million. Despite this persistent “graying” of America, few adult children feel prepared to take on the role of caregiver for aging parents. Those who discover they must now intervene and care for an elder they love are often at a loss. Trying to navigate the transition is like being dropped in a foreign country with no map, no GPS, and no translator—and acting as tour guide.Nancy Parker Brummett knows what they’re going through and has the means to help. She shares her own experience of caring for a mother and mother-in-law in assisted living, as well as lessons learned through study of the academic, social, and political issues involved. Each chapter begins with relevant Scripture, but the useful information here is not limited to people of faith.Take My Hand Again offers readers the warm feeling of having someone they trust stepping up to hold their hand and share encouragement and hope. Children of the aging don’t need a degree in gerontology; they just need for someone to ask the pertinent questions and give them an overview of the pros and cons of common options so they can make informed decisions. Whether they’ve already had their wake-up call or just want to be prepared for what’s to come, Brummett’s sometimes humorous, sometimes poignant book has just what they’re looking for.
Take My Hand Again, by Nancy Parker Brummett- Amazon Sales Rank: #830611 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-03-03
- Released on: 2015-03-03
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review "Nancy has written a practical yet hope-filled book that is sure to help both younger and older generations reexamine their roles with love and grace as together they navigate through the uncertainties of later years." (Missy Buchanan, speaker and author of Voices of Aging 2015-04-27)"Her warm, tender approach is grounded in both personal experience and careful research. . . . All with a focus on maximizing the respect and dignity of older adults while comforting those providing care." (Sara Honn Qualls, clinical geropsychologist and coauthor of Caregiver Family Therapy 2015-04-27)"This is the most comprehensive book on aging and caregiving I've ever seen. It is an excellent resource for anyone facing either one or both of these issues. Great stories, great ideas, great solutions!" (Dr Helen B. McIntosh, author of Messages to Myself: Overcoming a Distorted Self-Image 2015-04-27)
About the Author Nancy Parker Brummett is an author and speaker who has focused on ministries to the older population and those who care for them for several years. She holds a professional certificate in gerontology and was the founding president of the board of directors for Ronald McDonald House Charities of Southern Colorado. The author of The Hope of Glory, a devotional for use in assisted-living settings, Brummett frequently speaks to community organizations, women’s groups, and conferences. Visit her website at www.nancyparkerbrummett.com.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. The Cats in the Cradle. . . By James R. V. Matichuk My parents are both nearing retirement. Now that I am pushing forty, that isn't as old as it used to be (It was really old whne I was in my twenties). My mom and dad are still active and I suspect they have many good years ahead. Yet they are aging. My father who hands were always strong now hands me the pickle jar to open for him. My mother is on her own entropic journey. YetAging is a reality and the day will come when I will have to take a more active role in caring for my parents. As a pastor, I walk alongside others, both aging parents and their caretakers. So I was interested to read Nancy Parker Brummett's Take My Hand Again: A Faith-Based Guide For Helping Aging Parents. Brummett walks through issues that adult children face as they care for their parents at the end of life. This includes helping them get their paperwork in order, making decisions about living and care, whether parents should keep driving, and helping them leave a godly legacy.This is billed as a 'faith-based' approach to helping aging parents and is published by Kregel, an evangelical, Christian publisher. For the most part, it isn't particularly 'faith-based' so much as practical and helpful. All the chapters have a Bible verse epigraph and maybe a verse or two is quoted in the text, but the advice that Brummett doles out is helpful for Christians or non-Christians alike. The exception would be the last couple of chapters that speak more directly to the idea of spiritual legacy and eternity. I think the broad appeal to this book is actually good. Most of the issues around issues aren't Christian, or secular. They are human. God cares about our mundane, ordinary concerns and I appreciated the practical way Brummett addressed the real needs of aging parents. If you are looking for a book about the spirituality of aging, that is a different book.As I said, my parents are aging but not agéd. They are also well prepared. They've prepared a living will, chosen someone to manage their finances when they are gone, and have seen to some of those practical details. Still I liked Brummett's practicality and think this is a useful book as parents age. I give it four stars.Notice of material connection: I received this book from Kregel Publications in exchange for my honest review.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Parenting the Parents and Changing Roles in Society By Dr Conrade Yap In many societies around the world, one of the most pressing concerns is the aging population. As people live longer, it also means additional needs on healthcare and tax burdens. Taking care of the elderly is not simply daycare centers or medical care clinics. there are emotional, mental, and spiritual needs too. There are practical concerns. There are financial considerations. There are complexities on how to give them continued freedom in the neighborhood and how to ensure safety for themselves as well as the communities who live in. In other words, as a person ages, many ordinary errands suddenly become challenging projects. In a very personal as well as a practical guide book, author, gerontologist, and grandmother of 12 writes this book about caring for the aging in societies. As a professional, she shares in the book many aspects of the aging process. At the same time, she weaves in many personal experiences with people she meet and the family members she cares for. This makes the book both professional and also very personal. She also anchors each chapter on biblical reflection, to let Scripture guide one's thinking and caring in the aging process.The fourteen chapters in the book deal with the physical, the emotional, the mental, the practical, as well as the spiritual aspects of growing old where familiar things and people increasingly becomes unfamiliar. There are adjustments to be made on all sides. One of the biggest is role switch where the children suddenly parent their parents. The aging parent will have to depend more on others, especially their children to care for them. The grown up children will have to be more assertive and aware of new roles in honouring and respecting their parents. What makes it more complex is that some parents have to juggle two roles at the same time: Taking care of their aged parents as well as their young children. It is something that happens more and more in graying societies all over the world. Brummett's coverage of the whole aging situation is very broad. Historically, we read about the different perspectives of aging through the years. In the 16-17th Century, most of the care were done by families. By the 20th Century, with the Great Depression and an increased dependence on government help, families are relying more on public assistance, especially those with difficult financial situations. Now, depending on each family situation, there will be combinations of private and public assistance available for all. Brummett goes much further. She has a keen eye for the emotional struggles of old people. While many of us will be interested in what practical steps to take, healthcare concerns, and specialized gerontological resources available to us, the author spends a good chunk of time dealing with emotional heartstrings. When parents start to age, family dynamics change. There can be sibling disagreements over matters financially, logistically, or even relationally. Who cares for the aging parents? Is the responsibility only on the unmarried siblings? Knowing what to do is one thing. When and whether one is willing to do it is another. Like deciding on what is the best care center to live in. Will an expensive four-month stay be justifiable when financial means are small? What if the aging parents want a nice room but the family could not afford it? What if the most affordable care home does not have the specialized nursing skills needed? Do we throw away precious belongings of parents when we do our spring cleaning? Remember that some parents do have deep emotional attachment to things familiar to them. Then there is the driving license. For many, taking away the driving license is like removing an important symbol of independence.I appreciate the chapter on "Focusing on Friendship" as it is something a lot more humane and helpful. The older one gets, the harder it is to make new friends. Even old friendships are tested when people remember different things which may be meaningful to some but not to others. Brummett writes: "Reminding them that they have had successful, nurturing, relationships in the past can give them the courage to forge new ones." This is important when one moves to a care home. Without making new friends, one can become very lonely. Another important chapter is the caring for the aging mind. What the aged needed most is someone who can understand how they feel. Biologically, the older one gets, the weaker one is able to exercise their neural connections due to age or disease. That is why older people tend to multitask less, become more absent-minded, easily distracted, and behaving strangely abnormally as years go by. This is complicated by dementia which is a loss of mental function like memory, reasoning, thinking, and speed. Alzheimer's is "progressive brain disease" due to a reduction of brain cells. While dementia often means forgetting facts, Alzheimer's is more serious as people with such problems can even forget how to get back home after a walk in the neighbourhood. Some do not even recognize their own children! Then there is depression that hits the aged really hard. The American Psychiatric Association even lists nine depression symptoms, saying that as many as five are present in any two-week period. Physical limitations are next, with tips on health care options, medication needs, nutrition, as well as the risk of falls. The later part of the book deals with emotional and spiritual aspects, which I feel can be the hardest for three reasons.Firstly, it is hard to put ourselves in the shoes of the aging parent. After all, we have never had the chance to experience what they are experiencing. What is meaningful to them may be different from us. We can throw away a tea cup they love but as far as they are concerned, that item is irreplaceable because of the memories attached to them. Secondly, aging parents behave like a different person altogether. With the complications of dementia, it can be frustrating that our best efforts are not reciprocated. Worse, after spending a fortune on the best care for them, they can turn around and reject them, even accusing us of not caring for them. It is also a tough challenge as many parents caring for their aged parents are busy career people and parents themselves. How do they juggle how much time to divide between their various responsibilities? After all the sacrifice, imagine how the caregiver feels that upon giving up so much, their own parents do not seem to appreciate the efforts. Thirdly, every aging situation is different. There are no one book that can speak exactly to all. We just need to learn and be prepared for emergencies and contingencies. What can be done however is to be aware that these are issues that many aged people face. Knowing even the most mundane things can be a life-saver. Simple issues like what can we do if the person refuses to eat?There are funny moments but also very serious implications. Like the observation of one old person calling to warn her children about dangerous driving, where not only one driver was driving on the wrong side of the highway, but all were. The way to read this book is to let our care and love for our aged parents or loved ones direct our reading. For educators, it is a useful resource to learn from. For the child of aged parents, read according to the need at hand. While it is good if the whole book can be studied and applied, chances are, every aging situation will be unique. Perhaps, the most useful takeaway from this book is the title itself. "Take My Hand Again" is about a physical and loving connection with something so simple but meaningful. Holding the hand of an aged person means a lot more than a mountain of words. Holding it again and again means a lot. It demonstrates a love that will continue.I recommend this book for a broad audience simply because we live in an increasingly graying society. We may not have aged parents but our colleagues, our fellow workers or friends do. We meet people at coffee shops, supermarkets, and other public places. Knowing the challenges of the aged in our society helps us to engage them not with complaints or impatience but with understanding and encouragement. If this book can help us to be more sympathetic to the challenges and more empathetic to the aging person, it would have worth every cent.Rating: 5 Stars of 5.conradeThis book is provided to me courtesy of Kregel Publications in exchange for an honest review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. A Must-Read for Adult Children Caregivers By Anne I highly recommend this book for all adult children looking after an aging parent. Ms. Brummett's intelligent, flowing writing style had me hooked from the first page, and I could not put the book down for long. Reading through this book made me feel like I was sitting in a support group circle of friends. I came away feeling strengthened and inspired. The author has a gift for conveying an authentic, "down-to-earth" quality while relating her own experiences in this area, and this enabled me to connect to the message of the book in a deep and meaningful way. The author doesn't shy away from addressing topics of a delicate or difficult nature, and this was refreshing. Eldercare can at times be a lonely and confusing pursuit, and for me, this book filled in the gaps by reminding me that I am doing important work in caring for my parents. Real practical advice and tips are offered too. Readers will feel educated and enlightened, and as though their loving efforts as caregivers have been acknowledged and validated.
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